Dressing relationship
Dressing relationship

When a breakup is hard to take, or violent, it can be tempting to get back together with someone as quickly as possible, so as not to focus on the pain. But is this really the right solution for overcoming grief and getting over your ex? Here are the signs that you're in a Band-Aid relationship.

Bandage relationship: what's it all about?

A band-aid relationship is when someone who has just gone through a painful break-up starts a new relationship to ease the pain and avoid being alone.

This type of relationship often raises questions about the sincerity of feelings and the consequences this can have on the new partner. How do you know if you're in a band-aid relationship?

You're always comparing yourself

For some people, starting a story with a new person is the best way to mourn their past relationship and avoid suffering.

If you're constantly comparing your new relationship with your old one, it's a sure sign that you're in a Band-Aid relationship. The comparison may concern feelings, intimate relationships, physical criteria or character traits. In any case, if you can't stop comparing yourself with your ex, you need to ask yourself some questions about the validity of your relationship.

You don't feel the need to introduce your new partner to your family and friends.

At the start of a relationship, we can tend to be in a little bubble, preferring to spend time with each other rather than with our nearest and dearest. But in the case of a band-aid relationship, you may not feel the urge to introduce your new partner to your family or friends.

If this situation tends to persist, it's worrying. Because when feelings are strong, we usually want to introduce the person to our loved ones as quickly as possible, happy to show that we're experiencing something sincere and intense.

You don't look to the future at all

A new relationship can take a long time before you can plan for the future. With your ex, you felt like living together after only a few weeks, or a few months. Now you're not thinking for a moment of doing the same. This may indicate that you'd rather take your time and not repeat the same mistakes. But it could also mean that you see this new relationship as a temporary one, and therefore that you're in a band-aid relationship.

You shy away from problem solving

All couples have problems, and sometimes they arrive faster than expected. When your new partner exposes them to you and you tend to run away from them to simply enjoy the present moments, this may indicate that you're in a Band-Aid relationship.

This is even more the case when your new lover mentions the fact that he doesn't feel you're too involved or thoughtful. You're probably still thinking too much about your past relationship.

What can you do when you're in a bandage relationship?

Living in a band-aid relationship isn't easy. And after a painful break-up, you may not feel too involved, without wanting to break up with your new partner.

If you're in a band-aid relationship, your new lover will quickly realize that there's a problem and point it out to you. The risk, of course, is that he'll suffer, because he has genuine feelings and projects himself.

When you realize that you're in a Band-Aid relationship, ask yourself some questions. Weigh up the pros and cons of this new story, and try to find out where you stand in relation to your past relationship. Don't shy away from discussions; on the contrary, talk and don't hesitate to tell the person that you need time. If all these steps are too complicated, don't hesitate to get help from a therapist. He or she will help you make the best decisions for you and your partner.